Dress Code

One of the Beat poets -- Ferlinghetti? -- wrote a poem that began,  "I've been thinking a lot about underwear." Well, we've been thinking a lot about underwear at ConVal High School lately. It's because we've come around to deciding that we need a dress code.

Some may be surprised that we don't have a dress code already.  In a way, we do, but it's extremely vague -- something about wearing "appropriate" clothing -- and the result is that when the temperature goes up, we see a lot of clothing appropriate to spring break at Daytona Beach, only not as formal. I'm not sure why we're just getting around to something more rigorous, but it might be related to the workshop we recently had on sexual harassment.  When a lawyer told the faculty that, in the absence of a detailed dress code, a teacher who complains about the state of a student's dress, or undress, could be slapped with a complaint of sexual harassment, we all felt a little naked.

Hence the concern with underwear. According to the new rules, developed in consultation with some 400 students who attended open forums, there is to be no clothing that advertises drugs, alcohol, or tobacco use; expresses profanity, sexual innuendo, or violence; is ripped in inappropriate places; has protruding spikes; bares the back lower than the bra strap; or exposes cleavage anywhere.

The faculty met last week to go over the details. "Don't argue," principal Sue Dell urged us. "Stick to the script!"

The "script" (written by Sue) tells teachers exactly what to say. "I believe you are in violation of our Dress Code," says Teacher.  "Would you please add to or change your clothing?" If Student is unwilling to do so, Teacher says, "If you cannot comply with my request, then I will have to send you to see an administrator." Should Student continue to balk, Teacher is then to direct him or her to the office, calling ahead to specify the offense (visible bra strap, druggie hat, protruding spikes, cleavage frontal or dorsal).

The talk inevitably got raunchy, especially after one teacher, worried about consistency of enforcement, said, "I see cracks here that I don't want to see!" But the discussion exposed other kinds of cleavage as well. Does a Winston Cup auto racing T-shirt "advertise" tobacco products? Do the cleavage rules discriminate against girls who aren't fashionably skinny? Are parents aware that their daughters and sons come to school dressed like hookers or dope dealers? And if they are, what right have the schools to second-guess them?

I listened to the talk and didn't say much. The extravagances of adolescent mating plumage don't bother me much, but I am prepared to enforce any rules we choose to make. Still, I can't escape the feeling that public schools inevitably reflect public values, and if we buy and sell clothing that we are ashamed to see on our children, then we have nobody to blame but ourselves.