Standardized Test Scores

Brace yourself: The new NHEIAP scores are out.

NHEIAP stands for the NH Educational Improvement and Assessment Program, tests given each year to third-, sixth-, and tenth-graders in four categories: English, science, math, and social studies. They are supposed to help educators make decisions about “curriculum development and delivery” – Edspeak for what to teach and how to teach it.

Well,  I’ve taken a closer look at the back pages of this year’s NHEIAP report, the part that tells us something about the students who actually took the test, and come up with a modest proposal. Here are eight easy ways to improve ConVal’s scores.

“Socioeconomically Disadvantaged” students (Edspeak for poor kids) don’t perform as well: Statewide, only 19 percent made it into the top two scoring categories in English, compared to 39 percent of all the other students. Lesson One: Cut back on poor kids!

Girls did much better than boys on the English test: 58 percent of the ConVal High School girls were rated Proficient or Advanced, the two highest categories, compared to 37 percent of the boys. Lesson Two: Cut back on boys!

Test scores rise as extracurricular activities like sports or drama increase. Lesson Three: Make extracurricular activities compulsory. And just to maximize the benefit, make sure that everybody who tries out for a team or a play gets in, and divide the minutes played and lines spoken evenly.

Students who work at after-school jobs up to ten hours a week have better scores than those without jobs. But once past the ten-hour mark, the more hours they work, the more their scores decline. Lesson Four: Make every student  work after school, but not more than ten hours. (So they’ll have enough time for extracurriculars!)

Students who choose to read in their free time do a lot better on the English test than those who don’t. Lesson Five: Make students choose to read in their free time (when they’re not working, practicing, or rehearsing).

Assigning more math and science homework results in higher scores. Lesson Six: Make students do more homework. (But not if it violates Rules Three, Four, and Five!)

Doing experiments every day produces lower science scores than doing experiments only a few times a year. Lesson Seven: Convert laboratories into locker rooms and rehearsal halls!

Ninth and tenth grade U.S. History and Civics courses don’t improve social studies scores very much. Lesson Eight: Junk ‘em! It will give students more time for jobs, extracurriculars, and compulsory free reading!

Beginning Educator columns